The day before Thanksgiving was Grandparents Day at Connor's school. Sadly, not all his grandparents were able to come. Grandpa and Grandma live too far away, and Opa was not feeling well, but Oma came. Mommy and Daddy entertained Connor until Oma was able to come. Connor sure loved having everyone at school with him, and as you can see here, wouldn't leave Oma's side. We all had a lot of fun!
A couple of weekends ago, Grandpa and Grandma came to visit. Connor was very excited for the visit and enjoyed every minute of it. We packed a lot into a short weekend including a visit to the pumpking patch, Grandma's birthday, and Christmas in October! Grandpa and Grandma even got to take Connor to school one morning. Connor had a wonderful time, so did Mommy and Daddy. It was great to have them here. The visit was great (although Mommy and Daddy are getting quite sick of Christmas music....). We can't wait to see them again! Thank you so much Grandpa and Grandma for a great visit!
For Mat's birthday, we surprised him with a trip to San Diego. This was the first time Mat and I have ever gone away without Connor, so this was a big deal. Aunt Sam flew in from Reno and spent the weekend with Connor. Mommy and Daddy had a great time (though we missed our little guy very much). Connor did great with Aunt Sam (not sure he missed us anywhere near as much as we missed him). Mat and I also went to the Sunday night NFL game, Chargers vs. Patriots. This was the first NFL game either of us had been to and it was AWESOME. It was made that much better because the Chargers defeated the Pats. Here are some pictures of our get away.
Last week we took Connor down to Union Station to see the trains they have on display. He was very excited because he was actually able to climb on the trains. I'm pretty sure there is NOTHING cooler in his little train dominated world. He even had to take his camera so he could take pictures too. It was so sweet. Here are pictures of our train adventure!
Three weeks ago today, we said our final goodbye to our daughter Angelina. I think most everyone who reads this knows our story, but if not.. here we go.
On May 29th, we found out that Angelina had a chromosomal abnormality known as Trisomy 13. This prevented her organs from developing correctly. The specialist told us that this is NOT genetic, just really bad luck. They also told us that Angelina would only have about a 50% chance of making it full term and that surviving delivery would be difficult for her.
Well, our little girl was a fighter. Not only did she make it full term, she survived delivery and fought to stay with us for 42 precious, wonderful minutes. Angelina was born on September 2, 2008 at 2 p.m. She weighed 5 lbs 6 oz and was 19 inches long. And although not everyone might feel this way, we thought she was absolutely gorgeous. She had a ton of beautiful hair, and the most amazingly long eyelashes (just like her big brother). Although this experience has been so much harder and heart wrenching than I could have even imagined, I wouldn't have traded those wonderful 42 minutes for anything.
Connor held his sister, he loved her, her kissed her, and he got to give her the one and only bath she had. He was an AMAZING big brother. If we ever had a doubt about how he would be with a sibling, it was erased on that day. Although she looked different, he didn't even blink an eye and just loved her right away... without being told. Watching him with her.. well there aren't words to describe it. We were truly blessed to have had that time with her.
Most of my family also had the chance to hold her before she left us. None of us will ever be quite the same. She was only here for a very, very short time, but she changed everything forever. Angelina changed me forever.
In an effort to make something good come out of this experience, Mat and I have set up a scholarship fund at the Catholic Elementary school where Connor is currently enrolled in pre-school. This also happens to be the same school that I attended. If anyone is interested in contributing, a donation can be sent to: St. Joseph Catholic School, Attn: The Angelina Scholarship Fund, 2980 Quincy Ave, Ogden, UT 84403.
I don't think I will ever understand why this had to happen to us. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish for her to be here with us. But I have learned, that you never really know what a person may be dealing with (or has dealt with) in their life. There are so many experiences that make up who we are. We often assume that people are jerks or stand offish.. or whatever the situation may be and we base these assumptions on a brief interaction. Give them a break, you'll never know when you'll need it.
I do have to take some time to recognize a few groups/people. We had help to get through this from some absolutely incredible, amazing individuals, some of which I can't even name. There is a group call SHARE (http://www.utahshare.org/). This group came to the hospital and brought us clothes for Angelina, blankets, teddy bears, etc. They also work with a group of photographers (http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/) that came in and took pictures of our beautiful baby. The SHARE group took hand and foot molds. They are amazing and will always help us to remember her. The time, effort of these groups is all donated. These wonderful, amazing people knew we would want things that we didn't know to ask for and have helped us preserve very precious moments. In addition, we've had help from a group called Angel Watch. They helped us plan for what to expect, made sure we had good nurses in the hospital, provided us with information on funerals and burials, and are continuing to follow up with us after all is said and done. Again, all donated time and effort, and an amazing team of people.
We had Angelina at Ogden Regional Hospital. They were aware of our situation prior to our arrival, and made sure we were very well taken care of. The nurses that were selected to help us through this time were hands down some of the most amazing women I have encountered. They were wonderful to us, and made our experience the best it could have been. Special thanks to Dee Dee and Shirley.
Finally, I have to thank some people close to us. To my sister Nancy.. thank you so much for everything you did for us. Your support got me through this. To Mauree, the pictures you took, the amazing collages, the beautiful slide show, the hours of effort... these are priceless memories and we only have them because of you, thank you. To Ron for an amazing and beautiful lunch that allowed us to be with our family and friends and remember our little girl. And last, but certainly not least, to my mom and dad. From the day we found out they were there for us in any way they possibly could be and made a difference in so many ways. There is truly no way I can every fully express my gratitude to my amazing parents. I will never ever be able to say thank you, EVER.
If you are still reading, thank you so much for sticking with me. This is really the one and only post I can ever do for my little girl, so thank you for reading it. Although I didn't think I'd feel this way, I am so very thankful for having the opportunity to have her and hold her and love her and kiss her. Letting her go has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
We miss her. I miss the future we would have had. I will always remember her and she will always be a part of me.
Here are some pictures of Angelina.
Last Monday, Connor started his first day of pre-school. Here are pictures of his first day. He absolutely LOVES it. Connor goes 5 days a week for a few hours a day. His teacher says he's very polite, listens well, and is the leader of his class (huh??? I guess they really are different at school than at home!) He reallly likes to come home and show the pictures he made in school and now he likes to paint and color at home. All he wants to do is "projects"... so if you have any fun craft ideas for things we can do at home, PLEASE, PLEASE send them our way! Pictures are coming (they are delayed due to technical difficulties 
We haven't posted in a while and that's mostly because life has been pretty quiet for us. We've kept busy but mostly just swimming at Tante Nen-Nen's pool and swim lessons. We play A LOT of trains and mommy tends to want to stay inside during these super hot days.
We haven't said much on the blog about the situation with the baby, mostly because I've wanted to keep this just for all the happy news. There really isn't much new to tell in that area. We have gone back to see another specialist to ask some more questions and get a better understanding of what is in store for us. We don't have any good news, just some more answers. My doctor has said that she would induce a few weeks early, which would put us right around the first of September. So at most, we have about 6 weeks left.
Based on our meeting with the specialist, we are going to try to meet with the neonatal department at the hospital where we will deliver to try to understand some of the very difficult decisions we will be asked to make at delivery. We will also go ahead and have the amnio done, just to confirm exactly what the issue is with the baby, to confirm that it is Trisomy 13. It's one less thing we will have to test after she arrives. Finally, we may go to a pediatric cardiologist to have him look at the heart defect to determine how severe it is. This is something we are still discussing.
I realize posting in a blog about this may seem a bit.... cold? But we also know how many of you care and in some ways it's easier to distribute the information this way rather than repeat the story so often. We have come to realize that this will be even harder than we thought it was going to be.... and it's really not something we ever even imagined having to face.
Thank you all again so much for your love and support. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we are certainly going to need them. We love to see and hear from all of you. All our love.
